The I Rub My Duckie

I got this cute little toy a while ago from Babeland, and I have to say that I have mixed feelings about it. It's a fun, unique toy-- though it looks perfectly innocent sitting on the side of the bathtub -- but it really isn't a toy for serious solo-play. I found that I enjoyed it as a warm-up, and that it made me want to get out of the bath to go find some of my more heavy-duty, non-waterproof toys, but that it couldn't quite get me off on its own.

Another downside/maybe an upside for some people of this toy is that the strongest vibration is right under the tail. So while you've got this vibrating duck cozied up to you, it's giving you this big, doe-eyed look from over its shoulder. It's a little awkward; laughable, but awkward. Also, it doesn't float quite right, due to the batteries in its base-- and you'd better be sure to have a screwdriver on hand when it arrives in the mail, or you'll have quite a hard time putting the batteries in.

On the upside, the toy is watertight, very quiet and is fun to play with in the bath. Mine stays in the bath all the time, sitting between the shampoo and the bath crayons (hush up, I'm an artist). When I do choose to use it, I can barely even hear it. It's never had a problem with water in the battery compartment and it's really a cute toy. Not to mention that the texture is great-- it's velvety soft.

In the end, I probably wouldn't recommend this toy to anyone looking for a serious sex toy. But for something playful, fun and unique? This toy is a good find.

The Rabbit Pearl

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The Sex-A-Peel Vibrator!

First off, sorry for the delay in reviews, my dear readers. I've been a bit under the weather, and haven't really been feeling up to any sexiness. Between dealing with the new kitten (who is adorable, by the way) and dealing with my health problems, it's been a rough month.

But that aside, I've got a review for one of the only bananas that won't kill me-- the Sex-A-Peel Vibrator! As a handful of you know, I'm deathly allergic to two things: bananas and chili peppers. Which is lame, because I used to be able to eat both those things, and I still think that (while deadly) they're delicious.

So, imagine how excited I was to find out that I could review this! It's hot pink-- not my favorite color in the world-- but it's got a GREAT texture to it. The look is unique and fun, and it's just over-all a great thing to leave laying out on your coffee table. Which, incidentally, is what happened with us. I'd left it sitting on the table after taking it out of its package and fussing with the batteries because I'd wanted to show it to a friend before I used it.

Now, before this friend was able to visit, a different pair of friends-- we'll call them E and G -- came over. And hilarity ensued. E found it sitting on the table, and promptly investigated it, poking at the buttons and waving it around. G, on the other hand, took it from her and proceeded to chase her around my rather small apartment with the vibrating, pink banana.

It was so much fun! I hadn't even tried it, and I loved it.

However, that's about where my enjoyment of it stopped. This truly is a novelty toy, made more for it's incredible uniqueness than it is for actual use. It comes with a bullet vibrator that inserts into the banana itself-- which is incredibly difficult to get out. For someone like me, who has nerve damage in their hands, I couldn't wrestle with it myself. I had to have my husband do it, which was a tad embarrassing-- "Puppy, would you mind getting this bullet vibrator for me? It's stuck in the banana.".

The banana itself didn't translate the vibration well. Maybe it's because the bullet is small, but it just didn't seem to buzz enough to get me to where I needed to be. As I say with most things, I do need a LOT of 'power' to reach climax, especially when it comes to vibrators. This buzzing, hot pink banana just... didn't make my ice cream into a sunday, if you know what I mean.

I definitely think that this is a good toy for something that's more of a novelty or a conversation starter. It's fun to look at, it's great to put on the kitchen counter to get a laugh, and it's really tons of fun-- just not in bed. Or in the kitchen. Or on the couch. Or whereEVER you want to try it! But like with all toys-- your mileage may vary. You might absolutely love the sensations from this. For those of you out there who can climax with little vibration-- or who like food play! -- this might be the right toy for you.

My rating for it as a toy is, honestly, a little low-- I'm giving it a 4 out of 10. But as a centerpiece? This little buddy gets a 9.

Cheers!

- Loki

The Nubby G

This month's review is for the small-but-mighty, Nubby G. If you like G-spot stimulation, this this little fellow is a GREAT find! You can rock him, allll night long, pressing his oval-ish ring against your clit or your perineum, alternating the pressure and vibration strength.

The pro's of the Nubby G are numerous, ranging from the ability to control vibration, to its waterproof design (which I love). It's got an interesting shape, and is honestly quite fun to look at! Here's a rundown of the pro's:

Vibration: The adjustable nature of this toy is the key. You can keep it super low, for a very 'deep' vibration, or you can adjust it up to sounding like a swarm of angry bees for something intense. For me, the high-end of the vibration wasn't enough, but I tend to like INCREDIBLY strong toys- you know the kind that make your teeth rattle before it's even touched you? But this was, admittedly, VERY nice for internal stimulation. Normally, there's only one thing that can get me off through penetrative stim', and it's... well. Organic. And attached to my husband. So, the sheer fact that this was enough to feel good, and get me close? That gives it major points in my book.

Design: The oval ring is a great idea! It lets you press it where you like the attention. Do you like clitoral stimulation? Then rock it 'up'. Do you prefer your lower areas to be touched and teased? Rock it 'down'. The ring itself is thick, and covered with small 'nubs', allowing for each one to direct vibration. The shaft itself is curved up to hit your G-spot-- and it's not too thick, or too thin. Though there is ONE con about the design, which I'll go into later.

Waterproofing: I love to play in the bath. Hell, I love water in general! So being able to close my eyes and drift off into a floating, happy, pleasure-filled place? That's a big perk, at least for me. In my testing, which I did both in a bath and in the shower, it held its seal really well. There wasn't any water leaking into the battery compartment (which I was worried about-- I've had that happen with toys before), or any weird behavior from it.

Now (and I regret to say), it DOES have its cons. There are some that are linked directly to my physicality, and some that are just.... over-all. The first being the ring. While it's a good thing when it's positioned just right, I have difficulty getting the shaft far enough in to let it touch both places AND have effective penetration. It seems that if I go deep enough to get it to the right spot for the back-and-forth rocking motion that the ring demands, that it hurts, or just isn't in a good place.

The second is the vibration while under water. Naturally, the water disperses the motion-- as opposed to letting it concentrate, as it would when there wasn't a mass around it. In the bath, the vibration was much less strong than in the shower. It wasn't enough to even come close to getting me off. That's not to say it wasn't enjoyable... but it just wasn't enough. In the shower, and on dry land, however-- it was optimum.

Overall? I liked this toy. The material felt nice, the design was pleasing, it was fun to use-- my husband walked in on me zooming it around in the tub and yelling "DIVE, DIVE! C'mon, boys, we're running on silent!". Alternatively, he also found me pretending to fence with it, while in the shower. It's got so many ways to enjoy it! I would recommend this to ever level of experience. It's not big enough to be scary, but it's not small enough to be inadequate. For people who have a lower threshold for vibration, this would be FANTASTIC. For those of us who need a more powerful vibe? It's still nice.

This toy gets 7 out of 10 stars!

Happy fapping!

- Loki

The first of this month's review is the Babeland Pocket Rocket. It's a nifty little toy, though I have to say that for the first time in my experience with them, Babeland didn't meet my expectations. This is, possibly, because I'm the type of person that required a LOT of vibration to reach climax; but I digress. First, we'll go over the pros of this little fellow-

Size: I like that it's so nice and discreet- it's a little shorter than the length of my hand, has a small diameter (it's intended for external use only) and is easy to slip into a pocket or small bag.

Appearance: It's friendly looking. With little massage 'nubs' on the business end, a fetching shade of blue and just being over-all non-threatening, this seems like a good toy for beginners, or for people who are looking for something very simple.

However, there were also the cons-- one of which is personal and will DEFINITELY vary with the user. It's by no means the end-all to this little toy.

Vibration: This toy doesn't have a lot of get-up-and-go. Maybe it's because it's so small, maybe it's because it was just designed to be a simpler toy. Either way, there wasn't enough 'oomf' to get me to climax. I tried for a good long while (and it was still very enjoyable!), but it just wasn't enough. There's no variation in the speed, either, which I always find as a nice touch in toys.

Casing: The problem that I had with its casing was with the open/on/off area. I'd turn it from 'on' to 'off', and wind up having it click over to 'open', and then have it come apart in my hand. This happened a few times, and was rather disappointing. I'm not sure if it was just the individual toy that I had, or if this is a flaw with the model, but be careful!

Visuals: 5 out of 10. It's made for function, not for being pretty to look at. But it's not flat-out ugly, either.
Sensation: 3 out of 10. Again, this is my personal preference. It may be different for you.
Recommendation: Beginner.